I determined early on my family’s development that I would always go to Sunday Church. I think the reason was this: that I wanted my kids to love the church, even in it’s glaring flaws and inconsistencies. Since that time, the Local Church has not been exemplary in its display of the biblical standard. Yet, we have rarely missed attendance over the years.

There is a growing interest in departing from the church along with its local manifestations. Substitutes like “organic church’ replace what they call the “institutional” church. The description “institutional” (reminds me of some mental hospital), is used to imply that the Church has become something unnatural, formal, stiff, legalistic. So good meaning Christians reject the organized church for an “organic” church in the form of house churches or in many cases no church at all.

CS Lewis expressed it this way: (the church)… is a unity of place and not of likings, it brings people of different classes and psychology together in the kind of unity (God) desires. He continues, “the search for a “suitable” church makes the man a critic where (God) wants him a pupil.”

Do you see the point

• The church is a unity of place, NOT of liking

• The church is the vehicle to unite individuals who may not normally like each other

• When we give up on the church simply because it does not “suit” our standards, we become a critic not a student of it!

Here is how I see it. One finds fault with his local church. He searches the internet and finds several web pages that describe the faults of the church and give a basis for returning to the authentic manifestations which it seems only occurred prior to Emperor Constantine. Prior to him, the church was really real…  Since then, it has been only a facade.

Then what happens? This person starts hanging out with those who “agree” with him. And what is lost? The sanctification that occurs of learning to live with and love those whom you would normally not hang out with…. Along with a fundamental witness to the skeptics of Christianity. Jesus exhorted his followers to love their enemies. It is easy to love those who love and agree with you. Jesus asked in effect, “what kind of effort is required of you when you  choose your own friends?” None! But to love one you don’t like, one you would never choose in a thousand years, that is something else altogether, something to talk about. It cannot be duplicated by any unbelieving skeptic.

I must be honest. Could it be that those who only hang out with those who hang out with those who reject God’s church, become quirky and become “One message” people….. I think because they have no sanctifying and balancing force in their life through others who may disagree with them (not to mention the other means of grace in the local church:  preaching, sacraments etc)

My kids have grown up in local church. They love the church. They love Jesus who’s body it represents. I think it is time we agree with Augustine that “there is no salvation outside the Church.”  There is much in that thought.

Francis Shaeffer said it well: Our relationship with each other is the criterion the world uses to judge whether our message is truthful. Christian community is the ultimate apologetic . (quoted in Total Church, Tim Chester and Steve Timmis

I feel like David.  I try to do so much for God, declare my intentions, only to discover that His response is, “OK, but know this:  my grace is so sufficient that I will build you a house.  His grace does it all for me and on my behalf;  He builds my house!  David’s ear “caught the music of those wonderful words which are repeated twice in 2 Samuel 7.16 as the climax of the whole oracle, and which are echoed and re-echoed in David’s prayer.” And David responds,  “Who am I, O Lord God!”

In the midst of our struggle, God surprises us with his gentle reminders of the promise of His sustaining grace.  And it again, like David, causes us to “sit down” and remember God’s great faithfulness.

One of those reminders was the recent birth of my fourth grandchild.  I was told that it was a boy and that his name was Titus Christopher Edmonds.   I was very discouraged that day and I didn’t really listen to the name because I knew that, if it was a boy, they were going to name him Titus.  So when I heard the middle name, I wondered why they would choose such an unusual name as that. Then I realized, they chose to name their son’s middle name after me.   Now this would not seem like something very significant to most people.  And I had never considered a grandchild bearing my name.   But what struck me was this…. Someone out there loves and respects me enough to give my name to their son!   And I started weeping!   It was a gift of God to me.  Just a simple reminder that He loves me even in the midst of my failures and inconsistencies; that God, through His Holy Spirit is directing me right where He wants me to go.

I am so grateful.

Here is a quick letter I wrote to a young man turning of age…

Jackson, I always loved that name… Jackson. It just seems to me to be a Man’s name… Jackson. Like Jackson Hole, or Jackson Wyoming. Places where men are still men.

You know, you probably don’t even remember me. The last time I spent time with you, you were just a toddler. And toddlers don’t remember much… unfortunately.

Your dad has asked me to give you an analogy; an analogy of the attributes of a Leatherman tool. Now, I have never owned one of these devices, yet it seems to me that every man I know has one. You have a problem, or a device that needs to be “fixed” and your man friend pulls out of his belt like a six shooter, the Leatherman ready to fix any problem. Most of the guys I know are now on their second or third generation of Leatherman. It seems to me to be the ultimate multi-task machine. Man, you have a plier, knife, screwdriver, nail-filer… Like a Swiss army knife, but a Man’s Swiss army knife, if you know what I mean. Man, this thing goes on your belt… not a puny, cute “red thing” that slips quietly in your pocket. No true man pulls his Swiss Army Knife out of his pocket and says, “Man, look at this thing!” But a Leatherman? Watch out…

Unfortunately, like I said, I have never owned one. I think it only because, I couldn’t get used to the idea of it “hanging” on my belt like a six shooter, ready to draw. Maybe it is that last vestige of the old west. Maybe, I was never quite a “man.” Who knows? I think I can only handle one tool at a time. I don’t like to multi-task, to do multiple things at a time. But for some reason (now I am moving to philosophy here, attributes like your dad said…. ), the life God has given me, and I believe to every man ultimately, is a life where you are thrust upon with many tasks at once, a true multitask. I don’t think I have ever had a time in my life where I only had one task to focus on. Life for me has been more like juggling balls. And you never quite seem to get your act together, once you figure out how to keep all four of your balls floating gracefully at once, God throws in another…. then another… and another. Fortunately, once in a while, a ball is removed and you get a breather, but only for a moment it seems, and then you are back again juggling the remaining balls… multi-tasking.

If I could wax philosophical, I would say life is like a Leatherman, every ball you are juggling is different and requires different skills to manage, and some of the time you’re using all your tools at the same time. What tools you ask? Well, some tools are tools that are specific to the task; tools like your education, learned skills, talents and abilities. These are helpful. Then there are breakdowns in these skills through greed, lying, flattery, intolerance and many more. But there are more important tools like wisdom, humility, patience, understanding, joy, trust, hope, and most important Love. Love is like that little “nut” that holds the whole Leatherman together. Once it is gone, the whole thing falls apart. Love is important! But you need them all, like a Leatherman!

I don’t know if you will even read this at thirteen years old and understand what I am saying. I don’t know if you will still have this epistle years from now when you realize, “Yes, Chris was right.” “Life happens“ as someone has said. And you never quite get your act together. You always feel a little behind the ball, “homeless” in this life and no Leatherman tool will take you fully home. As each ball is juggled, you really don’t get it quite right, try as you may, because this life is just a shadow and was never designed to be totally figured out, at least in the sense where we have every answer to every problem. Because possibly we might just get a little too comfortable here; we may not see that we were made for something more, someone else. We will never be quite satisfied here on earth, because our home is not here!

Jackson, my prayer for you, as it is for my children, is that you might find the tool that has answer for every problem. I think you have been told about Him. Yes, this tool is a person, who became “homeless” in order to bring you home. Jesus Christ.

Maybe that is why someone invented the Leatherman; in hopes that one tool would “rule them all.” I hope this person was not disappointed when he realized that his Leatherman really didn’t have the answer…..

Love to the “little man” I played with many years ago….

Chris Taylor, alias: always your Dad’s best friend….

My family did a lot of skiing at Mt. Bachelor in Bend, Oregon.  I have such great memories of those weekends.  As good Catholics, we could not miss mass on Sunday without committing a mortal sin, so we would all march in to the local parish church for the early service with our “clodhopper” ski boots on and our shabby ski outfits,  ready to hit the slopes right after the 42 minute service.

On Saturday nights, in the old town of Bend, we would go to the cheap movies.  One of those nights, when I was about 11 years old, my two brothers and I were walking back from a movie.  As a car came driving by, someone yelled out some unknown expletive.  Being a smart*** myself,  I immediately I yelled something back.  At once the car spun around and came upon us. Three or four “red necks” jumped out and proceeded to beat up my brother while the two of us looked on.  I felt bad about that…. (Over time I must have imparted this gift to your mother, my wife: I sometimes wonder if she doesn’t feel good unless she feels bad about something. I love her!).

Well, ever since,  I’ve had a problem with talking (or sometimes yelling) too quickly. The problem migrates also into my emails.  I  have this intense addiction to rationalize much of my behavior while at the same time over analyzing any antagonist in order to find fault.  Then I am justified in taking an aggressive posture, which is usually not good.   This process usually concludes with a blasted email or voice mail; sometimes I  initiate an unnecessary debate and the end result is that I get beat up.  I lose. Or in some cases, like my brother in Bend, someone else loses…

So I have made a couple resolutions over the years with some modicum of success:

1.  Never immortalize anything negative in print.  Don’t press that  “Send” button just yet!  Not that I never send anything negative, but now I think very carefully before I do.   So, if you have anything negative to say, speak it carefully and thoughtfully directly to the individual involved.  Emails get analyzed between the lines to see what they really mean. They get forwarded (ouch!).   If you must send something confrontative or negative,  and you can’t do it face to face, make it your very last resort, try to write it in a manner that gives the individual room to disagree. Words like “it seems to me” or “perhaps” or “I understand I may not see this clearly” or “from my perspective this may…” are helpful in giving room to the reader/listener to receive your statements without forcing a reaction.   These words imply that there may be room to disagree and that you are being humble, understanding that you do not see the whole picture…. Trust me, you don’t and I don’t.  And try to say it with a smile!   (Proverbs 29.20 & James 1.19)

2.  If I have something to say that is negative, write it, and then let it “sit” for a day or two or a month.  Whatever time is required for you to think more soberly about the matter.   Then come back to your letter and rewrite it with your recipient’s perspective in mind.  Over the years it has proved helpful to write my thoughts down and save on my computer..  If I send or commit too early, I will probably regret it.  Mostly due to an emotional state that was not given time to “wind down.”   Time has a way of sobering you up and assists you becoming more merciful

3.   Get advice before sending.  Some things are better unsaid.   That may be the case.

4.  Remember Nahash!  Nahash was the Ammorite king who threatened to gouge out the right eye of all the men of Gad (1 Samuel 11.1-3).   We must remember that human nature is such that we relish cruelty albeit sometimes with cruel subtlety.

That Hahash should relish cruelty should not surprise us.  Nor is it the relic of an ancient, barbarous age.  Compare Joseph Stalin’s quip:  “to choose the victim, to prepare the blow with care, to slake an implacable vengeance, and then go to bed… there is nothing sweeter in the world”  … We can hardly expect otherwise from a race of depraved siners.  Most of us are far less bloody and far more refined in the kind of cruelty we inflict on others. (quoted from DR Davis, commentary on 1 Samuel, Focus on the Bible.)

So there you go.  Don’t burn any bridges. If you want a list of bridges I have burned, give me a call.

Let me just  quote what I read today on 1 Samuel 8.5, 19-20 (this is the narrative of Israel’s demand to Samuel for a king,   -

Our Aversion to Holiness:

By our “aversion to holiness” I simply mean that we do not like to be different for God’s sake.  We do not like to be distinct; we would rather blend.  So with Israel.  I noted above that in itself Israel’s desire for a  king, even a king “like all the nations,” was permissible according to Deuteronomy 17.14ff… However,  for Israel “like all the nations” is more than an expression; it becomes a passion.

After Samuel had solemnly warned Israel about what life under a king would be like, Israel refused to budge: “No, but a king must be over us, and we – we too – shall be like the nations…”  With a king, Israel says, we will fit, we will belong, we will, at last, get up to speed.  After all, this is the Iron Age, and we must have structures compatible with the demands of the new era.

Yet Israel was unique by definition. Read Deuteronomy 4. 32-40.  When since the beginning of time had any nation ever heard God speaking real verbs and adjectives and imperatives out of the middle of fire and still come away alive?  Has there ever been a god who took his own nation out of the clutches of another nation by bludgeoning its hard-headed, hard-hearted oppressors into submission by raw power and sheer terror?  Israel could not escape being different. But they could try.  “And we – we too – shall be like all the nations.”

True, we are a people under command.  “You shall be different because I, Yahweh you God, am different” (Lev. 19.2; the usual translation uses “holy” rather than “different,” but you get the point).  But Israel and the rest of us prefer to keep in step with our culture and fit into the molds of our society.  Who wants to stand out in the middle of a crooked and perverse generation?  Why should the church of Christians individually have a different definition of success?  Why should there be a certain detachment in our outlook (a la Heb. 11.13-16)?  Why a winsome purity in our conversation?  Why faithfulness in marriage?  Or chastity before it?  Why a seeking of justice for the helpless or a flowing of compassion to the neglected?  Why a passion for worship over entertainment?  Why prefer to enjoy God than to wallow after fulfillment?

Alexander Maclaren has put it well: “One of the first lessons which we have to learn… is a wholesome disregard of other people’s ways.”

Dale Ralph Davis is pastor of Woodland Presbyterian Church, Hattiesburg, Mississippi.  Previously he was Professor of Old Testament at Reformed Theological Seminary. So you don’t have to worry too much about his credentials!   It is nice finding a commentator who has not only taught in a good Seminary but also pastors currently!

An October 21, 2008 article appeared in the Wall Street Journal, titled “Trophy kids go to work“  Ron Alsop gives an apt appraisal of what this “investment” has produced….

When Gretchen Neels, a Boston-based consultant, was coaching a group of college students for job interviews, she asked them how they believe employers view them. She gave them a clue, telling them that the word she was looking for begins with the letter “e.” One young man shouted out, “excellent.” Other students chimed in with “enthusiastic” and “energetic.” Not even close. The correct answer, she said, is “entitled.” “Huh?” the students responded, surprised and even hurt to think that managers are offended by their highfalutin opinions of themselves.

If there is one overriding perception of the millennial generation, it’s that these young people have great — and sometimes outlandish — expectations.

Where do such feelings come from? Blame it on doting parents, teachers and coaches. Millennials are truly “trophy kids,” the pride and joy of their parents. The millennials were lavishly praised and often received trophies when they excelled, and sometimes when they didn’t, to avoid damaging their self-esteem. They and their parents have placed a high premium on success, filling résumés with not only academic accolades but also sports and other extracurricular activities.

In a Forbes op-ed article Entrepreneurship (or lack thereof) in Millennials Steven Berglas PHD makes these comments…

The oft-raised question–and it’s a big one for the U.S.–is whether millennials (also known as “The Everybody Gets A Trophy” generation) have been so coddled, so inoculated against insults and injury, that they are now too, well, soft to achieve entrepreneurial success.

Morley Winograd and Michael D. Hais, who co-wrote Millennial Makeover: MySpace, YouTube and the Future of American Politics, have observed that millennial “mellowness” can be traced to child-rearing patterns marked by feel-good toddler shows like Barney (“I love you, you love me”, etc.)…

To the shock of anyone who has taught millennials, they (and their parents) think nothing of excoriating a professor with the temerity to give them a “bad” grade (as in, less than an “A”)

Now I grant that it is unfair to classify an entire generation this way.   I am sure there are many exceptions and to say there is none would be simplistic.  But to think this trend has no effect on you would be simply naive.  I think it imperative that every Christian ponder how his society is always squeezing him into its mold (Romans 12. 2 Phillips); we are commanded to be a resistance movement consisting of people with renewed minds by the word of God.  So we should take seriously the trends of our culture and consider their influences on our everyday thinking; not the least of these is our approach to child raising.

I am so thankful we have a heavenly Father who yeilded His passion for the safety and well-being of His only Son Jesus and sent him to live a life of humility, service and ultimately sacrifice for us!  The self-absorption generated by the Fall of Adam can only be militated against through this beautific vision of Jesus!  There is no other answer.  He did this for our kids, so that they can learn that self-absorption produces an endgame full of despair, anger and bitterness.  Only ressurection brings life;  but life after service and sacrificial living.  The only resurrection we should point to is the ressurrection after death.  Preserving the life of our kids is not only a distraction, and an expensive one at that, and it will never truly protect our kids.  Only God can do that!

I married the most beautiful girl in the world on September 6, 1980.  She still loves her “fuddy duddy” husband who usually never has a clue.   She is remarkable in every way.

I like this song.  It seems that there are times in marriage that require a loving partner to wait for the other as we learn to walk in pace.

We said we’d walk together
Baby come what may
Back from the twilight
Should we lose our way
As we were walking
A hand should slip free
I’ll wait for you
Should I fall behind wait for me

Swore we’d travel together
Darlin side by side
We’d help each other
Stay in stride
Each lover steps on
So differently
So I’ll wait for you
Should I fall behind wait for me

Everyone dreams of
A love lasting and true
You and I know what this world can do
So let’s make ourselves be
That the other may see
And I’ll wait for you
Should I fall behind wait for me

There’s a beautiful river
In the valley ahead
There need be no drought
Soon we will wed
Should we lose each other
In the shadow of the evening dreams
Oh, I’ll wait for you
Should I fall behind wait for me
Darlin I’ll wait for you
Should I fall behind wait for me

Wait for me
If I should fall behind wait for me
Wait for me

Thanks for waiting for me.  I love you Donna!

I know there are plenty out there that are militant against what i am about to write, but here goes…

Years ago during a road trip, my kids’ attitudes were terrible; they were fighting and bickering as kids sometimes do; but it went too far.  So I pulled off the highway and found a roadside park where I lined all five of them up along a fence and proceeded to tell them that if they died right then – with their current attitudes – I had reason to believe they all would go to hell. Wow, what a transformation! (This is not an exposition of my theology by the way… Now I would probably have been even tougher on them! That was a joke BTW))

Self-awareness. How do we get our kids’ minds around the Imago Dei?  -that they as rational creatures, most accurately reflect the glory of God. That their whole lives are a “set up” by God through his infinite love and mercy. However, in their goodness is badness. How do you help them understand the implications of the fall?

I was wondering if some of us parents, through our lack of precept (or example!) inadvertently teach our kids that living in a Christian family is like a Get out of jail free card?

But God has given us a precious gift. I have come to believe that the rod of discipline is a means of grace. In some mysterious way it provides the grace to my child to ultimately embrace a savior, Jesus Chris. It is the only way I can make sense of the following verse.

Proverbs 23:13-14 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.

It includes an imperative: do not withhold discipline from a child

It gives us a method: Strike with a rod

It addresses our fears: even though you strike him with a rod, he will not die. This is probably one of the greatest reasons parents don’t correct their kids through chastisement.

It gives us an incredible promise: you will save his soul from Sheol (hell).

Think about it. This is lunacy to the educated mind and to the modern/post-modern person. A stick and a whack on the rump will produce everlasting fruit?! But isn’t that just like God? He always requires faith…. So take a hint from God here.

Do we understand how grace comes to us in baptism or celebrating the Lord’s table?  It is mysterious and we don’t really know how it works, but we do know it does; so we embrace Scripture’s imperative and thereby receive the promise of his grace.

Even though, let’s try and figure it out though.  Here is how I have seen it: The rod of correction brings two benefits to our kids.

One… it imparts to them a healthy understanding of what sin is and that they are sinners. (this is good)

Two… after discipline, the humbling of their hearts to their parent’s authority through repentance in the end prepares their heart to submit to the ultimate authority: God. (this is better)

So when they turn about 12 to 14 years old – at least with my kids -  they accept the fact that God is God. So it becomes a simple and natural response to receive Christ as His Son and sacrifice for their sin.

Now, discipline without affection can be a very dangerous instrument in the hands of a parent.  And discipline without clear prior-admonition or post-resolution (i.e. clear and clean repentance) is equally dangerous.

I know this is rather simplistic, but I hope you find it helpful. To my married kids: don’t give up with your own kids.  Make sure they come to the cleansing repentance that only comes after clear chastisement.  And remember every attitude of anger, jealousy, forgiveness, selfishness, resentment are all manifestations of the self-absorption of the fall and need correction as much or more than their actions.

There, I’ve said enough to be dangerous!

Many of you who read this are young dads or moms. I hope you find this helpful.

Ask this question in front of a group of reformed Christians:  what is the nature of man? The initial response (although not always I must admit), is that man is depraved. No problem with that.  It’s a good start.  Yet man was also created in the image of God and this is crucially important for our children to understand.

I acknowledge that there is no merit in being image bearers; however in raising children, it is imperative that they have a healthy  (and I emphasize Healthy!) grasp of their beauty, dignity, value and worth before and from God.   Just like our righteousness received in Christ,  it is an alien dignity, an impartation from God himself; A gift to be acknowledged through a humble repentance that recognizes the fall that “darkened” that image and now requires a Savior to truly restore the imago dei.  Without this understanding of the genesis of our dignity, all other views lead only to conceit and ultimately to despair.  One goal as parents is to equip your children to understand that the dignity they have is only a “signpost”  directing their hearts to their Creator God.

As soon as my children were toddlers, I would tuck them into bed at night (an important practice!) and ask them these questions (with infinite variations):

1.  Who made you?

2.  Does God make any mistakes?

3.  Did you chose your birth date, family, or name?

4.  Did you know that God saved mom and dad so that you could hear the good news of Jesus Christ? What if you were born in Mozambique? What would it be like?

Then I would pray for them that they would they would trust Jesus with their lives and not die (a practice of Spurgeon’s mother)…

There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations – these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. CS Lewis, The Weight of Glory (emphasis his)

Psalm 8:4-6 What is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You have given him dominion over the works of your hands; you have put all things under his feet..

Psalm 139:14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

The goal for my kids is not the ungodly and conceited form of self-esteem that is becoming so prevalent in the Millenial generation; But a deep humility and gratitude towards a loving God that ultimately produces a bowing of their little hearts before Him in repentance and trust.

Recently, one evening my wife and I were getting ready for bed, but the kids were still awake. I still have six kids at home ranging from 21 years old to my twins at 10 years.  They were all in the bedroom next to us.  My wife, knowing that it was getting late, called out to them to “get to bed!”  But I noticed something going on that numerous times has brought such delight and happiness to my soul, so I held my wife back from enforcing the “code.”

“Listen,” I said.  As we laid there, we heard all six kids talking simultaneously, laughing, joking, acting out roles of movies,  like best friends!  We sat there and just soaked in the moment.  “Let them stay up,” I said “and let us just relish the moment.  It doesn’t get any better than this.”

Our family has been really blessed to have deep affections for one another. The kids from my oldest at 25 to the youngest at 10 are best friends and continue that way.

I suppose there are many reasons for this.  It could be our natural disposition.  Or simply because we spend a lot of time together. I am sure these help.  But I think in reality, we have “stumbled” onto this more by God’s grace than anything else…   Maybe these are the reasons…

1.  Jesus Christ:  We teach our kids that without the new hearts Christ has obtained for us through his substitutionary sacrifice on the Cross, we would be blind to true affections and be groping in the fog of this secular landscape for solutions.

2.  We are reformed in doctrine:In simple terms we have taught our kids that our salvation is TOTALLY dependent upon God’s free will and not our own.  He predestined us, chose us and gave us new hearts, a taste for Him, because he loved us and not the other way around. We also believe in the complete corruption of our nature before being In Christ and our inability to repent and believe the gospel without first having our nature transformed by a sovereign God.  This gives our kids great humility and gratefulness.

3.  From infancy, we have taught our kids early on that they were created by a loving God in His own image who makes no mistakes in timing, place, family, race, or country.  And that God made them in His image, beautiful, valuable and exalted above the rest of creation. He set them in the Taylor household, by his love, so they could hear the gospel of Jesus Christ.  And that same God saved their parents just so they could hear this good news.  This has given our children a deep sense of their infinite value to God, not because of what they have done, but because they are the Imago Dei. This gives them great humility and confidence!

4.  We home school: This has helped us avoid much of the problems associated with the segregated system we have today in many institutions.  We even keep our kids with us during church!

Now some think that these blessings have come to us in spite of what we believe. That if we truly acted out our beliefs on human depravity, beauty and God’s sovereignty, we would act quite differently.   But I say that it is because of what we believe that we have these affections, not in spite of….

George MacDonald said “the door of opportunity always opens behind you.”  Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you….  Include your kids in the process, they will pay you back in spades…  So will God!